Raison d'être
- Katja
- Nov 17, 2017
- 3 min read
It is November 2017. The Year is almost gone. It went so fast. I remember so little of it. On January 10th, 2017 I went into the hospital with extreme pain and a distended stomach. On January 18th my right ovary and an attached grapefruit size tumour were removed from my lower abdomen. I was released a day after my Birthday on the 20th, which my friends and nurses made as special as possible in the hospital. At the follow up appointment I received the news that the histology showed cancerous tissue in the tumour. My Surgeon/Gynocological Oncologist Dr. Slomovitz at the University of Miami Sylvester Cancer Centre recommended Chemotherapy to kill any further cancerous cells that might be in my body. The course of action would be 6 rounds of Chemo with the two drugs: Taxol and Carboplatin. Further investigation into my past Histology would show if the most recent cancer was related to any of my other two previous tumours. If that was the case, the course of action might change. And it did! The tumor turned out to be related to my first cervical cancer from 2012. As a result, Avastin was added to my chemotherapy. Dr. Slomovitz recommended to start the chemo as soon as possible. I took the maximum time to recover from the surgery. I was recovering well but wanted to be stronger to take on the Chemo drugs and prepare myself mentally. But the truth is, that nothing could have really prepared me for the months to come and what I was about to experience. No research, no speaking with friends and family, no reassurance from the Drs and Nurses. However, talking to my friend, who had just completed Chemotherapy for Breast Cancer was a good hint to the journey I was embarking on. And it helped me tremendously to stay connected with her throughout the entire time to exchange experiences. It was always a good reminder that I am not the only one feeling "this way". Although the journey is always a personal one, it is so helpful to know that we are not alone and that the side effects and psychological hurdles are part of the entire experience. I realised that we are being treated by people who see patients going through Chemotherapy every day and they prescribe Chemotherapy because they truly believe that they can safe lives with this procedure. However, they most likely have never experienced what it actually feels like to go through the process and feel the impact of the drugs in your own body. Their lists of side effects are made from statistics and they check them off as they occur. But no list of side effects explained what it would feel like to have neuropathy in my feet and my hands. To not be able to get up from sitting or get out of the car because of pain and weakness. No list can prepare you for what it feels like to pull bushels of hair from you head and look at yourself in the mirror with no head hair, no eyebrows. What it feels like to blink your eyes without eyelashes. The Sylvester Cancer Centre in Miami is a very highly rated facility for the treatment of Cancer and I am so grateful to have been treated there. The Centre recognises that the treatment and survival of Cancer requires lots of support and the coming together of many avenues of care and treatment, including support groups, meditation, yoga, choir practices, and many more things. But honestly I was not able to participate so much because of the scheduling of events and because my energy levels went down to a point where I did not want to drive anywhere or participate in anything. And yet it probably would have been super helpful for me to connect with other women, going through the same process to feel supported by people that are experiencing the same bizarre feelings and physical side effects as myself. For that reason I have decided to write this blog about my personal experience to share for anyone who is seeking support in this journey. I would like to share my physical, as well, as my emotional experience. The activities and things that helped me and the foods that I ate. Research on products and what helped me will all be included. I invite you to share this journey with me. If you are going through treatment, know that you are supported and not alone. If you have friends or family going through treatment for Cancer, read about what they might be experiencing in their individual way and maybe my story will help you to find a little more strength for going through or supporting someone going through.
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